Now I understand why God wanted me to save myself for my wedding night.
by Valerie Gotuva*
I couldn't look her in the eye. "Yes, of course his mom will be there," I said sarcastically. My mom questioned me like this all the time, and I deserved it. But I couldn't let her know that. I was going to my boyfriend Kevin's for dinner and a movie.
Kevin played guitar in a band, he wrote poetry and he was incredibly sweet. He said he loved me, so I said I loved him too.
Mom drove me over to Kevin's, just to make sure his mom was there. She was. But that didn't really matter. I could make my own decisions. And I did …
Kevin drove me home that night. After he kissed me goodbye, I stepped inside and went upstairs. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I didn't like to look into my own eyes. I went into my room, trying not to look at my bookshelf where the words "Teen Study Bible" glared back at me accusingly. I lay in bed for hours, and I couldn't sleep.
All I could think was, What if? What if I get pregnant?
I cried as I wrote in my journal, mapping out a plan in case I did get pregnant. Who would I tell first? Would I try to have an abortion? Would I stay in school? How would I ever be able to face Dad (I remember we sang "Standing on the Promises" in front of the church a long time ago and I wore a blue dress) … or Mama (we baked chocolate chip cookies almost every week that one summer) … or my brother (I helped him build model rockets when we were little)?
"Oh please, God," I prayed, "just let me not be pregnant. I'll stop doing this."
I didn't get pregnant. But I didn't stop, either.
Time passed, and little by little I became aggravated with Kevin. His friends kidded me about the physical side of our relationship; so much for his promised discretion.
He didn't show at a dance recital that meant a lot to me. I started feeling betrayed. I'd shared my body with him, my soul, and he didn't really care. It hurt a lot. I broke up with him after a six-month relationship.
A wall had been built, though, and it remained—between me and my parents, and, most importantly, between me and God. I went into another relationship, and again I went too far physically. I was addicted. It seemed like I was in an endless cycle, even after I broke up with my second boyfriend. Change seemed impossible.
A year later, I sat in church one Sunday, listening to something about a parable of wheat and tares (Matthew 13:24-30). Tares are weeds that grow in fields. Tares look like wheat, but are not. That hit me. Even though I'd been in church my whole life and came from a Christian family, I realized I had no true faith. 
And faith was what it was all about. Faith that Christ had died on the cross so I could be with him—so my sins, all of them, could be washed away. Faith was the answer.
So I prayed. I told God I knew I was a sinner, that the things I'd done were wrong. I asked him to forgive me and be the Lord of my life. At 17 years old, I got saved.
As I began studying the Bible, I found more and more instances where God's rules, and my parents' rules, weren't just stupid things that made no sense. They made perfect sense; they were there for a reason, to guide me on how to really be happy.
the gift of mercyI talked to my parents one night and told them the truth about the things I'd done. I cried. I asked their forgiveness.
My mom said she had known all along; she gave me a hug, and she cried as well. And I'll never forget my dad's face—so twisted full of pain. But as time's gone on, that face has softened; my dad loves me, and he has forgiven me too.
Mercy is an incredible gift.
I struggle daily with guilt, and with feelings I wish I didn't have. I wonder if there's going to be a Christian man who will love me and marry me one day, even with the mistakes I've made. That's the worst fear of all.
And even though I know God has forgiven me, I struggle to forgive myself. Thoughts like that hurt. But I believe God has a plan for me. He will protect me and give me the strength I need to live for him and to wait for marriage. I pray for it every day, and, day by day, his grace comes to help.
I'm waiting for marriage because I've known the pain that comes from disobedience to God. Sex outside of marriage isn't what he intended, and it causes feelings that cut deeply, to the very soul of a person.
I'm waiting because I know God has someone in mind for me as a partner one day, if it's his will that I should marry. I'm waiting because I want what I will share with that person to be special. And I'm waiting because I know that through God's strength, I can.
From BeckleyB
Every day, all you see is sex. Everyone is telling you it’s not wrong and it’s good. And, that it true, to an extent. It’s not wrong when it’s between a married man and his wife. I know it’s hard to resist when you have your best friend, or older sibling even, telling you that you’re not a man or woman until you have sex. That is, of course, not true. You’re only a real man or woman if you can resist those things and not follow the crowd. Dare to be different.
I’m sure most of you know who the Jonas Brothers are. They wear purity rings proudly. They get all kinds of scrutiny for it, but they still wear them
anyway. They don’t care that the world views it as something wrong. That’s how we should be. We shouldn’t care how our friends or family see us for it. What matters is how God sees us.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8:
3It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4that each of you should learn to control his own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; 6and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 7For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.
God is telling you right there that it doesn’t matter what others say, but only that you live a holy and pure life.
There are so many drawbacks to not remaining abstinent. One being an STD. I know what you’re all thinking… “Here we go. We’ve already heard this talk over and over.” And, that may be true, but do you know why people give you that talk over and over? So that maybe when it starts to get to that point, and you’re starting to do something, you will stop and think, “This isn’t safe.”
But, maybe you’re thinking, “I can just use protection.” Protection is not 100%. You can get an STD whether you do or don’t use protection. Maybe you’re thinking, “It’s my first time. It can’t happen on your first time.” But, it can happen, and it has. That will follow you for the rest of your life.
The second drawback is pregnancy. Again, you may think it can’t happen if you use protection. Or, if it’s your first time. And, again, that’s not true. My mother used protection, she was on the pill, when she got pregnant with all four of her kids.
I personally know a 13-year-old girl who has a 1 ½ year old baby girl. A guy I know had sex for the first time with the girl he thought was “the one” and got an STD from it. And, yes, both of my friends used protection.
There’s another drawback to not remaining abstinent. The emotional toll it takes on you. When you have sex, you not only give them your body, you open up your heart and soul. If for any reason the relationship ends, you gave yourself to someone God didn’t choose for you, and that pain and heartache is horrible and I would never wish anyone to feel that.
I told a story at a True Love Waits Rally two years ago. And, I would like to share it with you.
A man is in a relationship and he absolutely loves his girlfriend and he wants to get her something special. So he goes to the jewelry store and finds this perfect absolutely one of a kind necklace. He gives it to her a she loves it! Unfortunately things didn’t work out and they broke up. About a year later he is in another relationship and he loves this girl. He believes she is “the one” and he comes across the necklace he gave to his first girlfriend. He think “well its still a unique necklace, I can still give it to her”. Unfortunately Not because the necklace or anything, but just because the relationship wasn’t right they broke up. About another year or so later he is in a relationship with the woman God created for him. The one he was meant for all along, but now the necklace isn’t pure anymore, it’s been used, and wasn’t unique anymore.
That man gave his “gift” to the other women, and they weren’t the one. Instead, when he found the one God chose for him, his “gift” wasn’t pure anymore, and it wasn’t the best.
Jesus died on the cross and gave his body to save us. So, it’s not too much to give ours to him – is it?
1 Corinthians 6:12-20:
12"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13"Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."[a] 17But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
This passage is clearly telling you that God wants you to save yourself for the one he created for you. And, not to give your gift to any other.
Always remember, God will always get you where he wants you. Your part is how you get there. It’s so much more rewarding to follow his plan, and get to the end his way, than to do it your way and miss out on the blessings he has for you.
Hope you enjoyed it!,
BeckleyB.
If You Loved Me
"If you loved me you'd do it."
But what about me? What about my feelings? You know that I'm not ready, That it goes against everything I believe.
"If you loved me you'd do it."
But what about me? Am I not the special cherished person That you profess me to be? Are all the words you whisper in my ear just sweet lies?
"If you loved me you'd do it."
But what about me? Don't I deserve to be loved, honored and cherished? Am I only worth a heated moment in the back seat?
"If you loved me you'd do it."
But what about me? Is the love that God talks about only for others? Can love only be patient, kind and understanding For everyone else? Am I worth so little?
You say that you love me, So answer this question: If I am so worthless to you That you would chance ruining my life And breaking my heart, Why do you want me at all?
—Jennifer Mathews
Jennifer's story: "When I learned that my friend's boyfriend was pressuring her for sex, I got mad. I wanted to encourage her not to give in and to let her know that if you truly love someone, sex is worth waiting for. So I wrote this poem for her. She was very encouraged by it and made her boyfriend read it, too. She never did give in to the pressure he was putting on her, and she ended up breaking up with him. This past April she got married, and she was so glad she had the gift of her virginity to share with her husband."
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